Working Mom

To start, this blog has been very difficult to write for a couple reasons. 1) I am so scatterbrained so I apologize for jumping around everywhere. 2) I don't want to offend or make anyone angry. This has been on my brain for a little over a week now and I just feel the need to express my opinions. After all, we have blogs for a reason right? It may seem like I am singling out a few people and telling them that what they want is wrong, what they believe is wrong, and they are settling for less than what they are capable of.  That is absolutely NOT my intention. I realize it may go against how some people were raised, or how some want their futures to look. I just want to challenge their view because this is how I’ve been raised and how I want my future to look. And please challenge me in return :)

Often times, I often get the feeling that a lot of guys-the “Good” Guys, the Christian guys-the guys girls like me want to marry one day-want a wife that will be a stay at home mom and raise the kids. Now, this is not a bad thing; it just irritates me when they also think that women who want to have a career too is not as desirable.  And girls, if you truly do just want to be a stay at home mom-more power to ya! Just don’t settle on believing that that is what all the “Good”, Christian guys want- because this is also not true.

If you ask any Christian woman what kind of wife they want to be or any Christian man what kind of wife they want to marry, they will probably give you a quick answer: Proverbs 31. If so, then why do some people still believe that the most desirable woman is one who will be satisfied staying home and not working? After all Proverbs tells us “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.” (Proverbs 31:16-17). Does this not say that that a wife of noble character also works? I understand working can be working in the home, but it can also mean working in the workforce. Now, some people may want to say home/ want their future wife to stay home because they see that it works and works well. However, I am here to tell you it is possible to have a great job that you are good at and be a GREAT mom. Trust me, I know from first hand experience.

For as long as I can remember, my mom has worked while my dad worked fulltime. After all, they both have graduate degrees for heaven’s sake-why not make use of them? Now my mom, yes, she works part time, and yes, she did take some time off, but she still worked. And guess what? She even worked to support our family while my dad was between jobs-and her support of him during that time was extraordinary. Did she absolutely need to work? Probably not, but my family may not have lived like we have for the past 20 years. And were there time when I wish my mom were home when I got home from school? Absolutely! But, it made me gain some independence and figure things out for myself (like getting dinner started). Even though my parents both worked, they have still been some of the most actively involved parents in their children’s lives that I know. My dad has served as the swim team Treasurer for the past three years while working and my mom has served as the chorus booster club president for the past two while working- both not easy jobs. They were both active in our lives at an early age- my mom was always up at school helping out on her days off and led our girl scout troops and my dad helped coach soccer for my sister and I. On top of all of this, they raised two pretty good children if I may say so myself. But you know how they did this? Through their faith and utter reliance on the Lord.

Isn’t that what is most desirable in a wife or husband after all? Someone who as complete reliance and faith in God? Just because they want to work-even if it is fulltime- doesn’t mean they won’t love their kids as much, or they kids won't turn out as well, or wont support their husband as much as they would if they didn’t work.

I know, who am I to talk when I have chosen a career that is honestly, the perfect mom job? After all, about 70% of my class is female. And I can guarantee, that the majority of the girls in my class have this reasoning for choosing Pharmacy. But, if I did choose to work full time, or have to work full time, it doesn’t mean I’m going to be any less of a great mom. In fact, my “dream job” within pharmacy probably won’t allow me to work part-time. But I know they only way I can make working and being a great mom at the same time is to have faith and trust in the Lord that he put me there for a reason. I know God put me in pharmacy school for a reason and the desire to have kids for a reason so all I can do now is have faith in that.

I don't want to discount the Christian Man for wanting this. He sees his role as a man to support his family. And some of these men believe that they will have "made it in life" when they can support their family without their wives working. And I totally understand this and support men working towards this goal. But, they also need to realize that God still blessed their wives with gifts and talents and he should encourage her to use them! Even if financially she doesn't need to work.

So, I guess the reason I am so open to having a career in addition to being a mom is because I have had such a great example set before me-my mom and other family friends of our who LOVE what they do and LOVE being a mom. If you are settling because this is what you think all the Christian guys want or what God wants- you are telling yourself a lie. Many men, and God, want us to use our gifts, talents, and education. And guys- it IS possible to have a supportive wife, working wife, and great mom all in one.