Break In

It’s now been about 7 months since I experienced probably the scariest moment of my life. But, hey, look, now I’m writing about it, so I am in a very good place! God has taught me so many lessons over these 7 months as a result:

Two weeks before school started this past August, I was at my house alone in Athens working for the weekend. It was a Saturday night, and around 2:00am I awoke to the huge bang and shattering of the windows. I awoke immediately terrified that my worst nightmare was coming true. But before I jumped to conclusions, I tried to rationalize what I just heard. Was it lightning striking the house? No, my fan was still running so the power was still on. Then under my bedroom door I saw a light go on near the kitchen. I panicked. It was my worst nightmare. There was absolutely no other reasonable explanation. I lay paralyzed in my bed not knowing what to do. Probably the worst paralyzing fear had come over me. I continued to lay unable to move until I heard footsteps come down the short hallway between the two bedrooms on the bottom floor. I immediately knew I had to say something, “Hello?” I then heard some whispers and two sets of feet bolt out of my house.  I became outraged in anger, still overwhelmed with fear. I got out of my bed and began to yell with fear in my voice, “Get out of my house, get out of my house! I am armed and the police are in their way.” That last sentence may or may have not been true. I grabbed my phone and ran in my closet, called the police and stayed on the phone with the operator until they arrived.

I was so very fortunate that night because that was all that happened. Our front door was kicked in by two punks, and our 42” TV was stolen. It could have been 1000x worse, but I try not to imagine what “could have” happened. I know God was looking out for me, but it was still very hard understanding why he let this happen to me.

The immediate weeks to follow, I learned was how important friendships are. I am so fortunate to have such loving and awesome friends here in Athens. From being able to wake my neighbor at 2:45am who then let me sit in her bed, still trembling in fear, while I waited for my parents to come. “You are handling this so well right now” she told me. I didn't, and still don’t believe that statement is true. Ant then to having friends live at my house the following week with me until my roommates came back because I refused to go back there by myself. My gosh, God has blessed me! And what’s even more awesome to know, I know there are several others who I could have called on that night who would have woken up or dropped anything to come help me.

A second lesson was the lesson of security. Physically and emotionally. I never leave my house door unlocked at night, especially when I’m there by myself.  The door was locked that night, my car out front. There was nothing more I could have done except leave the porch light on. But since the “incident” we call it, our house has become almost a fortress with added security. So don’t try breaking in. But this “incident” will always be with me, and wherever I am in the future, I will always have something to remind me to be smart about security. And maybe God gave me this experience to teach me something about emotional security, I don’t know. But I do know as a result, if this were to happen again, I like to think I wouldn’t feel as nervous or uneasy. To be honest, I’d probably be straight up pissed. I don't think I was someone who was emotionally insecure before this happened, but I do think I have become more resilient as a result, which brings me to my next point.

The following weeks and probably couple months, I was still so uneasy, at night especially. I didn't want to really talk about the “incident”. But I knew if my psychological state didn’t get better, I was going to have to. I seriously considered going to talk to a counselor. I considered to mostly just talk about coping mechanisms so that it would never really become an issue, especially going into my hardest semester yet at school. I think after having one of my roommates sleep in my bed one or two nights, she was about to sign me up. Fortunately though, I snapped out of it and was able to move on with my semester starting and now, I can just about laugh about it.  That said, I would have had no shame in going to talk to someone about it though. And if it ever does begin to bother me psychologically, I will march my butt on over to a professional without hesitation.

Like I said earlier, I am so grateful I am now in a place where I can write and laugh about this. I was able to for a little bit after, I just didn't like to for too long. One time, maybe a week or two after, one of my friends came in and looked at the TV we moved down from one of my roommate’s rooms and said with all seriousness, “Did your TV get smaller?” I looked at him dumbfounded because I had told him about the “incident” just shortly before, but also how I didn’t really want to talk about it. Our other friend looked at him with the same dumbfounded expression that was on my face. I love to laugh about this now, especially when he comes over and I get to make fun of him for making me feel bad, hehe.

U.S. Navy

   Well, I have some exciting news to share, and I figured this is a great place to share it even though it’s been a while. Actually, exciting doesn’t even begin to describe the mix of emotions I am going through. Many of you know I have applied for this program to be a pharmacist in the Navy after graduation. For those of you who don’t, well, read the last sentence over again.

   Why? Ever since deciding I wanted a career in the medical field, starting that career in the military has always been in the back of my mind for 2 reasons, 1) It is very well known that they help pay for school (this stuff is expensive) and 2) my mom was a nurse in the Air Force. I never actually seriously considered it until a year ago when a recruiter came to school and I said to myself “Heck, I’ll go hear what he has to say.”

    Although I never grew up with a mom in the military, I’ve always been so proud of her for her service as a nurse in the Air Force. For those who don’t know, a few short months after she graduated college, she was stationed near Sacramento for 3ish years. From those 3 years, she has some of the best stories to tell, made some of her best friends, and gained some of the most INCREDIBLE experience both professionally and personally. She was able to go and see places she probably otherwise wouldn’t have done. She was able to ski Squaw Valley, visit Yosemite, get a cheap military flight to Hawaii, take a trip to Napa, and all sorts of other things. But the thing I think is the coolest is when she is able to stand up at church when our pastor recognizes veterans on Veteran’s Day. CHILLS I tell you.

    By the time summer arrived, I found myself knee deep in the application, MEPS physical done (I don't even know how to describe this without going into more detail than you probably want to know), recommendations in, background check done, fingerprinted, and convinced that the U.S. government was now watching my every move as if they weren't already. All I had left to complete were a statement of interest and 2 interviews.  After completing my statement of interest, I was fully on board. After my first interview over the phone, I was on my OFF board with one foot on dry land.  Everything was finally catching up to me and I began to freak out about this and question every reason I wanted this. I realize now it was God’s way of telling me “Wooaahhh, slow down Avery. Put on the breaks. Take a moment to think about this and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.” It was very hard. I went into that last interview still very hesitant, trying to convince my interviewer and myself I was ready for this, and wanted it. I was praying every day and had an army praying for me too. 

    Over the past 6-7 months as I have sat and waited, I have had ample time to decide what I wanted. I thought getting on this application early would have hopefully given me an early decision. I was wrong. I’ve been waiting for what seems like an eternity now with people asking me left and right if I had heard back yet (which although I appreciate your excitement and encouragement, I was growing anxious because I wanted to hear just as much as you).  But, as a result of waiting, I came to the conclusion that as hard as this will be physically and emotionally, this really is something I WANT TO DO.

    Well waiting has finally ended and the board has recommended me to the U.S. Navy HSCP for Pharmacy. I will be given a salary for my last two years of pharmacy school, beginning this August with the title “Petty Officer”. Upon graduation in 2016, I will go off to Officer Development School in Newport, RI for 5 weeks to become a Lieutenant (which is an O3 in the Navy), then off to what we hope to be one of the 3 big Navy hospitals in San Diego, CA, Portsmouth, VA, or Bethesda, MD. I will owe 3 years of active duty in return.

    I’ll say it again, this is something I really want to do, and I am really excited about it. But it is also terrifying. I think to myself some days, “Oh my gosh, I will be joining the military. Who am I?” After all, I’m this preppy little white girl (who still feels like she is 16-not any where old enough to make a decision like this), likes being independent, likes being able to tell people NO, likes wearing the jewelry and clothes she wants, wants to meet a boy and fall in love, and doesn't like getting her feelings hurt. But those who really know me know I am also very structured and routine oriented (thanks Mom), doesn’t have a problem with authority, am a team player, and hopefully wise beyond her years (haha not really). And there are plenty of men in the military J.

    As I move forward over the next two and a half years, I ask that you pray for me. I ask that you pray for me physically, so that I may endure physical training and 4:00am mornings at ODS for 5 weeks and stay in military shape over the 3 years. I ask that you pray for me emotionally, so that I may be strong in a new place and to getting my feelings hurt. I ask that you pray for me professionally that this experience is truly unmatched anywhere else and that I find an area of pharmacy I want to be in for a long time. I ask for you to pray for my heart to continue love and want to serve my fellow soldiers and the country I love.  But mostly, I ask that you pray for me spiritually. I know this will be the most trying time in my faith with moving somewhere new and not knowing anyone; however, it is something I feel I need to do to make my faith stronger. It will make me completely and utterly reliant on God. Pray for me to find a good church family to support me and grow with me.

Thanks, I already feel them working,

Avery